When you get married, you don’t just get a spouse – you get their family, too. Sometimes it works out really well, with everyone “playing nicely” together. But other times, there can be friction. So how do you maintain a healthy relationship in those instances – as well as your sanity? Birkat Elyon has a few expert suggestions. We’ve worked with couples that are in the market for gorgeous cubic zirconia engagement and wedding rings, and we’ve heard (or overheard) plenty of stories!
FORM A UNITED FRONT
When issues with the in-laws come up, a couple needs to stick together in deciding how much of a role they will play in their life. There’s a sense of security in knowing partners have each other’s backs.
KEEP YOUR COOL
When one of your in-laws gets out of line, it’s really easy to fire back. Obviously, this can only make things worse, so take a breath (or five) and save your rebuttal for later. Whether it’s a few hours or a few days, a little breathing room is a good thing, and you’ll likely get farther in addressing the issue.
COMMUNICATE DIRECTLY
On the above note, speak to your in-laws directly about any issues; don’t send your spouse to pass on the message or put him/her in the middle. That’s a sure way to create more tension and resentment.
DON’T IGNORE PROBLEMS
For the sake of keeping the peace, many couples overlook in-laws who are overstepping, interfering in their life or creating other problems. However, the bill eventually comes due. Better to clearly address something head-on when it happens.
CREATE YOUR BOUNDARIES
Make this a priority. The longer you give extra latitude to the in-laws, the trickier things can get. For example, if they offer parenting or money advice when it’s not warranted, politely thank them but let them know this is part of your relationship – not theirs. Set some clear limits.
Another helpful thing to remember when dealing with difficult in-laws is to show some empathy and put yourself in their shoes. This may offer some perspective that can lead to better communication – and a better relationship. (Of course, if there’s ever an occasion when a “peace offering” might be in order, Birkat Elyon has a full line of quality cubic zirconia jewelry for both men and women!)