Marriages don’t last and remain healthy on their own. Two people have to stay committed to each other and work at making each other happy for the long run. All of us could use a little help with it now and then, though, so here are five more tips for keeping your marriage healthy and happy.
Stay Flexible
In case you were so excited you missed that whole “‘til death do you part” bit during your wedding ceremony, marriage is a long-term commitment. You’re signing up to be with this person for the long haul, but if you’re reading this blog, then you’re at least showing a desire to make that happen. One thing to keep in mind is that the plans you created and norms you established in your 20s won’t necessarily make sense in your 30s, nor will the ones made in your 30s always make sense in your 40s. Careers take unexpected turns. The world changes in unpredictable ways. Our worldview and what we want out of life is always evolving. That means you need to remain flexible in marriage. It’s good to have plans for how you finance your lifestyle, manage chores, raise a family, etc., but don’t try to stick so stringently to your plans that there is no room for updating them.
Stay Intimate and Passionate
This means more than just keeping things hot in the bedroom, but yes, you should remain committed to some level of bedroom intimacy throughout your marriage. In addition, though, you should remain generally intimate with each other outside of the bedroom, too. Hold hands, share your feelings and touch and kiss each other regularly. Of course, “regularly” is going to mean something different for every couple. Don’t worry about what regular looks like for other couples, just what it means for you. No one else should define what is “normal” or “healthy” for you, and things will change as you age, but make sure you figure out what level of intimacy is right for you and stick to it as best you can.
Remain Active
All of us slow down as we get older, and that’s OK – to an extent. You should both be aware of your physical limits as you grow older and not think it’s realistic to be as physically fit and active in your 50s as you were in your 20s. But the two of you should try to stay active in ways that make sense for your personality, hobbies and age. This could be playing tennis or golf, going to a gym, taking nature hikes or just going for walks/jogs. Even moderate exercise is enough for both of you to feel more energized, connected and attracted to each other and can help prevent heart disease and other serious health threats.
Talk to Your Friends
Sometimes you need someone to talk to other than your spouse, because sometimes you need to talk about your spouse. Now, you want to be careful not to go overboard here. If you find yourself badmouthing your spouse to your friends all the time you could begin to resent them, and they’re certain to resent you some if they find out your favorite hobby is speaking ill of them behind their back. If you’re having a big issue, though, it can really help to talk it out with your friends. It’s likely at least one of them has gone through something similar and has some advice on how to handle it. You trust your friends, so don’t be afraid to seek their relationship advice.
Go on Dates
This might sound a little silly/backwards for married couples, but you should take your spouse on dates. No, you’re obviously not trying to “court” them anymore, but you are trying to remind them that there’s no one you’d rather be sharing experiences with than them. This will also serve to break up the monotony and help you to avoid falling into a rut of just doing the same things all the time. Go places together, and don’t always go to the same places, either. Having a favorite spot or two is perfectly fine, but don’t over-rely on it. Try something new on occasion.
Cubic Zirconia Jewelry
One other thing that will keep your marriage healthy? Putting serious thought into the gifts you give each other. There’s no gift for the special woman in someone’s life that’s more intimate than jewelry – it lets her know how important she is to the giver. Of course, giving jewelry all the time can get expensive, but it doesn’t have to. Cubic zirconia jewelry reflects the light as beautifully as real diamonds do for a fraction of the price. In fact, few but seasoned gemologists with specialized instruments can even tell the difference. Save money with cubic zirconia and keep those jewelry gifts coming!