When you commit to someone “until death,” you surely mean what you’re agreeing to; you plan to stay together for the rest of forever. But forever is a long time, and you’re bound to go through some rough patches in life and your relationship over that time. No matter how in love with one another two people are, they simply cannot go their entire lives without experiencing some tough times. The best couples with the happiest, longest-lasting marriages, however, figure out how to overcome those difficulties.
Last month we brought you some great tips for ensuring you become one of those couples, and now we’re back with some more pointers that we hope will help you and the one you love enjoy the happiest marriage you can.
Be Honest – Even When It’s Hard
Everyone knows that honesty is usually the best policy, especially when it comes to the person you love the most in life. Knowing it and practicing it are two very different things, though. It’s not easy to be 100 percent truthful about 100 percent of things 100 percent of the time. Did you overspend and get behind on credit cards or other bills? Did you do something you promised you wouldn’t do? Are you unhappy with the way things are going in your marriage?
Those are difficult things for most people to be open about. But know that lying about them or hiding them is only going to make things worse in the long run. These problems won’t fix themselves, so do your best to swallow your pride or summon your courage and be as honest as you can be, as early as you can be and as often as you can be.
Split the Chores Up
No one likes doing chores. That’s why they’re called chores. But they have to be done if you don’t want to end up on the next episode of Hoarders. They should not, however, all be done by the same person. Most successful married couples keep the division of chores as even as possible. So split up cleaning the house. Shop at stores together or have one of you go to some of the stores and one go to the others. If someone gets stuck doing all the chores, that person will either grow resentful and eventually snap, or the chores will just stop getting done. Obviously, you want to avoid both of those scenarios, so split things up!
Put Things Away Yourself
Did you borrow something from your spouse or take something out that gets stored in a closet, drawer, etc. when not in use? Guess what you should do? Put it back when you’re done! Yes, compared to lying to each other or making one person do all the grunt work to maintain a home and relationship, this one seems small – and it is. But it’s the little things that count. They add up. They fester.
When you have an entire lifetime together, petty annoyances build up over time and can cause you to resent one another. Don’t let it come to that. If you borrow a razor, clean it off and put it back when you’re done with it. If you swiped a phone charger, make sure you put it back where it belongs when you’re finished charging. You get the idea. Now make sure you do it!
Avoid Both Freaking out at Once
Hey, people get pushed over the edge sometimes. It happens to us all, and if you spend the majority of your time with someone for the majority of your life, that someone is going to see it happen a lot over the years. Do yourself and your spouse a favor and don’t join in when they start losing control, and they should do likewise when you lose it. If you’re both screaming and stomping and slamming things, it’s going to get ugly. Let whoever flips first be the only one over the edge, and things will go smoother for you both.
Be Nice
Here’s a seemingly obvious one you may be overlooking: be kind to each other. Too often, we all end up taking advantage of those who are closest to us. We know they love us and aren’t going to walk out of our lives, so we think we can get away with this behavior. And we may – for a bit, but it will eventually cause deep resentment and make you both miserable. Instead, try doing something nice for each other every day, like letting them pick the movie you watch or restaurant you eat at.
Don’t Underwhelm with or Overpay for the Ring
Marriage starts with an engagement, and it’s best not to make a bad impression there. So when you select an engagement ring, make sure it’s one that’s as beautiful as it is affordable – make sure it’s a high-quality cubic zirconia engagement ring!