Something new, something old, something… actually, let’s stop right there. Let’s focus on something old for today’s blog post. Specifically, I’m talking about heirloom stones, those beautiful gemstones passed down through your family over generations. Whether a stone was your mother’s, your grandmother’s, your great aunt’s or belonged to any other number of family members, it means something extra special to you – something that no one but you and your family will ever truly understand.
When you choose to use an heirloom stone for your engagement ring, you form an even stronger connection to someone(s) from your family whom you love dearly. There is no engagement ring more special. Of course, just because you love them doesn’t mean you fully love their taste in jewelry. Maybe they left you a gorgeous stone in a not-so-gorgeous setting. Yikes. Well, don’t fret too much – you can have it reset.
Before You Make a Change
Instead of diving right into having that pretty gem reset, though, there are a few things to consider. There is a proper etiquette for this sort of thing. First and foremost, check to make sure the ring is clean and free of damage. If it’s not, you’ll want to start by fixing any problems; if you don’t, they’ll only get worse over time.
OK, but now it’s time to put that rock in a ring of your choosing, right? It’s time to identify a beautiful type of ring that fits your style and have the heirloom stone reset? Well, no, not quite yet. Even though the ring was given to you as a gift, it still means something to the family member who gave it to you, and whatever it means is strongly tied to how it looked when she first came in possession of it. You don’t want to treat grandma to an unpleasant surprise when she sees her timeless beauty of a stone reset. It’s better to talk to her first. Show your gratitude for the ring, but explain that you have plans to make some changes. Tell her why you want to alter the heirloom and that it means a lot to you to have her approval first.
Be gentle with your approach, not pushy. Some women may feel like you’re rejecting not just the ring, but them. You have to remember that they’ve likely worn this ring for a very long time and have very strong memories of the day they got it and the marriage that resulted from being presented with it. Making changes to the ring wouldn’t be something she’d do haphazardly.
Try explaining that you’re deeply touched by the offer of the ring and would be proud to wear it, but you also always dreamed of having something with some personal touches that were more “you.” If it’s too big or small for your hand, tell her that you’re concerned it will be uncomfortable or won’t look as flattering on you as it does on her. If the setting is damaged and needs repairing anyway, explain that for the cost of repairs you’d prefer to just go with a new setting that fits your style more.
Appraisal and Insurance
Once you’ve gotten the go-ahead, it’s then time to take safety into consideration. Get the stone appraised and insured just in case something goes wrong during the resetting process. This is something you should really do with any engagement ring anyway, but now is the best time to do it if you’re having an heirloom stone reset. And if you work outside or with your hands or travel often, you should also consider getting a cubic zirconia engagement ring to wear in those circumstances. Keeping your heirloom ring safely locked up during those times is the most effective way to protect it.
Consider Your Options
There isn’t just one option for resetting an heirloom stone. You can have the stone re-cut or reshaped to allow it to fit into a new setting or style if you’re having trouble finding a way to make a stone fit your vision for an engagement ring. In other cases you might just need a new band, and sometimes portions of the old band can even be used in the creation of the new one. Ask if the jeweler can melt down and re-use part of the old band and/or stones to keep even more of the sentimental value or if there are multiple stones consider having earrings made out of the smaller ones.
But the most common option is taking an older stone and just placing it into a new setting. You’ll have plenty of options for personal flourishes here: additional stones, a unique band or setting or matching the engagement ring with your wedding band. This is the simplest and most effective way to combine family tradition with, well, something new.