Getting married means blending families – and one big member of that new family is the mother-in-law (MIL). As she watches her “baby” take the next step in Life, emotions and relationships can get complicated. Birkat Elyon is in the business of providing couples with beautiful, affordable CZ engagement and wedding rings; we’ve been around hundreds of couples and heard it all. So here are some tips for the bride that will help set up a great relationship with Mom (in law).
“I’M NOT PUSHING YOU OUT OF OUR LIFE“
As the wife, you’ll be spending the most time now with her child. While boundaries are important, it’s also important that she knows that she’s still part of that new life. Just telling her that at the outset will provide a big sense of relief and make setting any future “ground rules” a lot easier.
On that same note, assure her that she’ll always be “mom.” There are some things only a mom can do, so just knowing that she’ll still command that respect will give her a sense of comfort.
“YOU CAN BE IN CHARGE OF CERTAIN HOLIDAYS“
Sharing major holidays is always an issue for new couples and their families. If your mother-in-law really, REALLY loves hosting Christmas Eve dinner, let her know that she can still be in charge of that. That concession will smooth the way for any other kind of “swaps” and give you and your spouse some leverage with other occasions.
“KIDS ARE UP TO US“
Even the best-intentioned MIL may start to get a little “baby fever” once the ring has found its way onto your finger. Set this boundary early on; let her know that the discussion of having children (or not) will come up when you and your spouse are ready. Assure her that she’ll be kept in the loop – but on your schedule.
“WHAT’S SOMETHING I NEED TO KNOW?“
This is a great way to jumpstart a conversation with your MIL. As well as you know your significant other, Mom has some insights from years of observation. These could be serious – or hilarious. With the latter, you’ll have some funny stories to laugh together over (and of course, to gently tease your partner with).