Planning a wedding is a little different in 2016 than it was in 1916…or 1996…or even 2006. Smartphones, hashtags, GPS, Facebook, Snapchat and a litany of other tech innovations mean that just about everything is planned and executed differently today than it was 10 years ago.
Of course, the bride still wears white, and couples still use high-quality cubic zirconia engagement rings to signify their dedication to each other. But the possibilities for how people act when planning, traveling and attending weddings have changed drastically. That also means social mores have had to adjust to keep up with all these tech breakthroughs. It hasn’t been easy: society has often struggled with coming to terms with generally accepted practices for the constantly changing world of tech. That’s been no different in the world of weddings.
There are, however, some pretty clear dos and don’ts. Familiarizing yourself with them can help make sure technology improves your wedding rather than impedes it.
Call Before You Post
If you’re a millennial like me, you probably hate making phone calls and would much rather text, chat, message, email, tweet, post, etc. whatever it is you have to say. But listen, some things are still best done the old fashioned way, and telling your parents and other close friends and family members that you’re getting married is absolutely one of them. You need to use a personal touch for the most important people in your life, so either go see them and say it in person or pick up the phone and make a few calls. Only afterwards should you jump on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or whatever to let your wider circle know you’re engaged.
Select a “Tweeter of Honor”
If you’re thinking your wedding day will feel like it lasts forever and you’ll have plenty of time to do every single thing you want at a leisurely pace, it’s time to think again. Your big day will fly by, and you’ll want to enjoy it and get actual face time – not over a phone! – in with your guests. Your social media followers can wait until later to get updates and see pictures on everything that happened on your wedding day. Most of the truly important people in your life will be at your ceremony and/or reception, so focus on them first. If you absolutely must keep your followers updated to the minute, though, then choose a bridesmaid to be in charge of real-time social media updates.
Spread Your Hashtag
Everything has a hashtag these days, even things that probably shouldn’t. One thing that definitely should, is your wedding. Pick a hashtag that’s memorable and incorporates your last name(s) into it and share it with all your guests. Put it in your wedding invites with brief instructions on how to use it for older family members and friends who don’t intuitively know how.
Don’t Post Shade
It’s almost impossible for anyone to get through an entire wedding planning and the wedding itself without finding at least one thing that aggravates them. Do yourself a favor: keep it off social media. If you post a complaint about guests neglecting to do something you asked or someone in the wedding or in your groom’s family annoying you, you’re going to hurt feelings and/or strain relationships. It’s possibly even worse if you don’t call them out by name and give them a subtweet or a passive-aggressive Facebook post; that’s only going to make everyone wonder if you’re talking about them. Handle this sort of thing directly and privately, and your wedding and long-term sanity will be all the better for it.
Post That Ring
Everyone wants to see your high-quality cubic zirconia engagement ring. So let them! This is one area where you shouldn’t show restraint. Once you’ve let everyone in your closest circle know you’re engaged, let everyone see your ring. This is exciting news in your life, some of the biggest and best you’ll ever have. So don’t worry about coming off as bragging. Wouldn’t you want to see your girlfriend’s ring if one of them got engaged? Of course! Post away on this one.
Send Paper Invites
If you’re like me, you associate “invites” with Facebook invites, group text messages, emails or Eventbrite. That’s all fine and dandy for a New Year’s Eve party or a night out with friends. For your wedding, though? Not so much. Physical mail feels more special than ever in 2016, where we’re deluged with digital messages but rarely get anything in our physical mailboxes other than coupons and bills. That means paper wedding invites feel even more special than they used to. If you want to send evites for your rehearsal dinner or morning-after brunch, that’s totally fine, but go the traditional route for your wedding invites. Mail them!