When you get engaged and then married, you know what to do with your ring/band, don’t you? You put it on your fourth finger of your left hand – it’s just what you do in Western cultures. Why? Well, because it’s tradition and a symbol of love, of course. OK, but that doesn’t really answer the question. What made this become a tradition, and when exactly did it all start?
A Brief History Lesson
It’s believed that the tradition of wedding rings stretches all the way back to Ancient Egypt – we’re talking 4,800 years ago. That’s quite a long-running tradition. In those days the circle was seen as the symbol of eternity thanks to its lack of a definitive beginning or end. The finger opening at the center of the ring was seen as a gateway to both known and unknown future events. Therefore, sliding a ring onto a woman’s finger was seen as a sign of everlasting love.
Then the Romans came along some years later and went ahead and borrowed the tradition from the Egyptians. They weren’t completely unoriginal, though: they added their own twist to things in the form of requiring the ring be worn on the “ring finger,” because the thought was that this finger had a vein running directly to the heart.
So there you go. Case closed, right? Not exactly.Today we know that there is no such thing as a vein running from your ring finger directly to your heart. (Thanks a lot for ruining that romantic myth, modern medical science.)
In any case, when we get engaged today someone typically bends a knee and places a ring on the fourth finger of the other’s left hand. Upon getting married, brides and grooms exchange wedding bands, placing them on that same finger after saying their vows. Wedding bands have a lot of freedom: they can be made from any material you choose; be elaborate or simple; and can sometimes feature an engraving, but they don’t necessarily have to.
Engagement Rings
As for engagement rings, well, those are a bit more of a (relatively) recent addition. That tradition goes back to 1477, when Archduke Maximilian of Austria gave Mary of Burgundy a diamond ring, and a trend was born.
Diamonds have long been seen as a symbol of a couple’s never-ending love for each other. Yet, diamonds aren’t strictly required to be in an engagement ring. They can have other gemstones: sapphires, rubies, emeralds or cubic zirconia.
We all know that traditionally it’s the man who gets down on a knee and gives the woman an engagement ring. Today, however, that’s not always the case. It’s no longer considered unusual for a woman to take the initiative and propose, or for both man and woman to wear an engagement ring. Further, same sex couples by their very nature don’t rely on a man proposing to a woman. So it’s not uncommon for a woman to propose and/or a man to wear an engagement ring in 2016.
Wedding Bands
OK, but once you get married, how do you add the wedding band if you’re already wearing an engagement ring? Glad you asked. Well, married couples tend to wear their wedding bands closer to their hearts, meaning below their engagement rings.
Many will move their engagement rings over to their right hand just before they make that trip down the aisle. This leaves room for your partner to slide your wedding band onto your left hand, and you can then move your engagement ring back to your left hand’s ring finger afterwards.
If your hands are different sizes – which is not at all uncommon – or you’re just concerned about losing the ring or don’t want to move it for whatever reason, not to worry. There is nothing wrong with putting the wedding band above the engagement ring. It’s totally up to you. Some brides even have their wedding band soldered onto their engagement ring, making one piece of jewelry representing the bonds of marriage.
After the wedding, the most popular way of doing things is still to leave the wedding band below the engagement ring. However, modern trends have offered a whole slew of options. Some move their wedding band to their right hand and use it as an excuse to start stacking rings there. Some even get more than one band on their wedding day and surround their engagement ring with it. Yet another thing some couples are doing is foregoing the engagement ring entirely and going with a “diamond eternity band.”
So yes, there are traditions – but they aren’t requirements. This is yet another aspect of your wedding that should be all about you, and it’s one that will last forever. If you want to be traditional, go for it! If you want to be modern and unique, that’s fine too!