Having kids is one of the best parts of marriage. You\u2019ve now gone from a \u201ccouple\u201d to being a \u201cfamily.\u201d But adding little ones to the mix definitely changes things. With babies, you\u2019re dealing with sleep deprivation and a constant stream of stuff that needs to get done. According to one study, 92% of couples report increased conflict after a baby arrives. As the kids get older, you\u2019re handling school, schedules and a host of other challenges. No doubt about it, the love that brought you together can be tested. So here are some expert tips on how to keep your relationship healthy during the most common conflicts, and to keep love alive after having kids.<\/p>\n
When a baby arrives, your carefully-crafted schedule blows up. There are feedings, an endless stream of laundry, toys all over the place. As the kid gets older, it morphs into managing school, friends and extra-curricular activities. Trying to keep things in check can really test a couple. One half always seems to end up doing most of the work. That can quickly breed resentment.<\/p>\n
One solution? Post a list of daily chores (and who\u2019s responsible) and stick it on the fridge. Then switch those duties for the next week.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s also useful to make a direct<\/em> request to your partner. Passive-aggressiveness or just storming around in a huff is counterproductive. Studies show that most of us react better to a simple, clear request<\/em>. Once they\u2019ve completed the task, remember to thank your better half. That greases the wheels towards making them more receptive to the next one.<\/p>\n Kids and their needs can exhaust a couple, especially when a new baby shows up. Lack of sleep can really sap the passion. But you can still<\/em> stay close. Studies show that most couples\u2019 intimate lives get back to normal after an average of two years, post-baby.<\/p>\n In the meantime, some moms or dads may hesitate to cuddle with their partner, fearing that they\u2019ll want more even though they\u2019re not in the mood. This is where communication comes in. You can tell your partner that you don\u2019t have the energy at the moment, but you\u2019d like to snuggle for a few minutes.<\/p>\n When children enter the mix, finding time to get close is tricky. This is where \u201cmaking a date\u201d makes a lot of sense. Think back to your dating days: you had a sense that something hot might result at the end of the night. Apply those same principles to your marriage: get a sitter, dress up a little, get in the mood. (And not for nothing, keep traces of kids out of your bedroom: a crying child or rolling over on a squeaky toy can ruin things in a nanosecond).<\/p>\n The quicker antidote to feeling \u201cdisconnected\u201d from your mate? Check in with each other for at least a few minutes each day (10 is a good measure). Share what\u2019s going on and how you\u2019re feeling \u2013 it\u2019s a substitute, but it\u2019s a good one.<\/p>\n Pre-kids, many couples may have spent time on individual pursuits. One ran marathons, the other did volunteer work or joined a book club. These things easily disappear when children enter the equation. But solo pursuits can refresh you, both as an individual and as a couple. They\u2019re not a bad thing. Find a way to let each partner take a \u201ctime out\u201d from parenting duties. They\u2019ll come back to the family in a better mental state.<\/p>\nINTIMACY<\/h3>\n
SOLO TIME<\/h3>\n
PICK YOUR TIMES<\/h3>\n